deVolta

estou devolta a este meu canto de "pequenos felizes fins". Desta vez e de agora em diante, até a vontade mudar, irei publicar "pequenos" apontamento da minha grande história que tenho vindo a desenvolver.
inicialmente estes apontamentos podem não fazer nexo algum devido a serem ja algo avançados na narrativa.
não me vou dar ao trabalho de esclarecer tudo em cada apontamento que publicar devido a estes estarem esclarecidos na minha história final, ou então estarem em posteriores publicações ou ainda por não querer/haver uma explicação.
espero enfim que gostem.

20 August, 2007

Sob a Eterna Manha

Estava a amanhecer. Depois de uma noite passada na expectativa de voltar a sentir o tempo intemporal, depois de ter devorado quase um livro inteiro, depois de ter quase caído na tentação comum do sono, estava, finalmente, na altura.
Tal como nos anos anteriores, passava férias numa zona remota do país, uma terra campestre. Adorava aqueles sítios; além de citadino de nascença, era selvagem de alma.
A impaciência chegara ao fim, o mundo chegara ao fim.
Nada mudava desde então. Perfeição imaculada, pura, adormecida, beleza crua e estática. Era assim que se lembrava e era assim que queria contemplá-la.
Vestiu uma camisa de seda branca a prolongar o seu cabelo escuro e comprido. Estava tudo em silêncio, calmo, uma verdadeira paz. Saiu de casa, abriu o portão e sentou-se no meio da terra batida. Olhou em redor. estava claro, com uma neblina matinal. No horizonte, as ventoinhas eólicas, ou melhor, os mastros sem fim definido. Em frente, um caminho a serpentear por entre dois campos secos, já ceifados, protegidos por uma vedação. Um com uma depressão no meio; o outro, escondido da vista por um montículo de terra.
Ficou. Nada mudou, nada se ouviu, nada se moveu entre as brumas matinais e a pálida e recém-chegada luz. Era tempo fora do tempo.
Viu-se um rebanho (talvez vinte?) a sair da neblina e a dirigir-se lentamente para o campo do vale. Estava cada vez mais e mais perto, sob o seu olhar vazio. Reparou num vulto, vestido de preto, que as vinte ovelhas arrastavam. Também ele vinha na sua direcção. Revelou-se uma mulher, idosa, claro, uma pastora. Trocaram poucas palavras. Nada mudara.
A pastora abalou dali, recomendando que vigiasse as ovelhas para não desflorestarem a horta. Deixara o rebanho à sua mercê.
Ficou assim durante um bom bocado. O rebanho aproximou-se, fitou com um olhar avaliador de perigo. Estavam a preparar-se para arrasar a horta. Enxotou-as com a sua presença deambulante, até que se afastaram. Moveram-se para outro campo, chefiadas por uma anarquista. Lentamente, foram desaparecendo como uma gota de água a escorrer. Lentamente, desapareceram do seu campo de visão.
Nada tinha mudado.
Ficou… A eternidade sem pensamentos, a contemplar a adormecida Natureza, quando algo preocupou o seu transe apático.
Levantou-se e foi ver o seu rebanho. Não estava lá, pelo menos, todo. Algumas gotinhas corriam atrás da gota de água. Correu, a ver onde elas iam dar. Encontrou a extremidade do campo, do lado direito, vedado por silvas, do lado esquerdo, vedado por arames, em frente vedado por arames e silvas a limitar uma floresta de sobreiros. A entrada (ou saída) para a floresta estava escancarada. E só se viam umas réstias do seu rebanho em direcção à floresta.
Seria suposto aquilo acontecer? Deveria ir atrás delas? Ou seria melhor voltar para trás e fingir que nada tinha acontecido?
Decidiu ir atrás delas, não sabendo muito bem o porquê daquela escolha.
O terreno era matreiro; altos aqui, baixos acolá, terra revoltosa, terra rija. Contudo, correu com determinação como por amor do seu rebanho… Não se estatelou no soalho selvagem, graças à acção divina e, assim, chegou a um pequeno vale onde um caminho serigaitava ao longo dele, de tão preguiçoso que era. A floresta de sobreiros a continuava no lado de lá. As vinte ovelhas estavam a percorrê-lo e, como é óbvio, sua excelência de camisinha de cetim tinha que ir atrás. Passou por sobreiros jovens, supôs, que mais pareciam podres com o passar de milénios, e por uma casa, uma casita vá lá, semi-construída ou semi-destruída.
Depois de passar a casa, o vale alargou a sua bacia como a deixar entrar mais da luz pálida da manhã. Abriu-se num pequeno pasto silvestre, ao abandono, onde o rebanho repousou para reabastecer os seus depósitos biológicos. Não teve compaixão pelo repouso, já que tinha de cumprir a missão de as repor nos dois primeiros campos. Rodeou-as, de maneira a que, com a sua presença como motor, as incentivasse a voltar para trás. Por momentos, tudo parecia correr bem, até que a gota se dividiu em duas.
Uma continuou a correr pelo seu percurso pré-feito. A outra, astuta, saltou um riacho que, pelos vistos, havia também a percorrer o vale.
Teve de saltar o riacho, subir a poeirenta encosta e ir atrás da desamparada semi-gota, para a juntar de novo à gota-mestra que já ia mais adiantada.
Por fim, elas deram a volta e juntaram-se de novo num único rebanho. Correndo freneticamente, com as calças e as "All Star" (supostamente pretas) já castanhas do bedum da mistela de lama, pó, espigões e ervas, para não as voltar a perder de vista, conduziu-as para umas planícies, no fim do vale. Umas planícies… adivinhem de quê? De urtigas, é claro. Um mar delas até, o campo coberto por uma martirizante manta de urtigas e silvas.
Um verdadeiro campo em poisio, convenhamos.
Não tinha outra escolha, as ovelhas andariam em frente quer fosse a acompanhá-las quer não. E como o prometido é devido, lá mergulhou no oceano agonizante de arame farpado biológico. Enquanto supervisionava o percurso do seu rebanho, que também estava em agonia (bastava ver a incerteza e hesitação como também a velocidade a que elas andavam), reparou que aquele campo em poisio era afinal habitado… por infindáveis montanhas de insectos irritantes e, por vezes, perigosos, dos "bzzzs bzzzs".
Enquanto tentava manter a concentração no percurso das suas ovelhas, também se picava, quer nas plantas quer nos insectos.
Por fim, chegaram ao desfecho do seu tormento e estavam de novo nos pacíficos e inocentes campos do início, ou melhor, no campo da depressão. Por fim, terminara o seu serviço, de guarda de ovelhas, de guia. Ou será que não?
Não parou para descansar, não descansou as suas fatigadas pernas depois daquele esforço todo. Em vez disso, precipitou-se para o outro campo (o do montículo).
Era a mesma madrugada. O mesmo silencio e paz. Nada mudara.
Foi até ao portão escancarado e, com algum esforço de esticões e empurrões, fechou-o. Ficou uns momentos a olhar para a floresta e, antes de se virar suspirou baixinho:

- Pronto… Já está…

21 June, 2007

Super Girl

Once... in a big city...lived a little girl who was afraid of every thing and everyone. Her big darkened eyes were always alert for any (un)usual thing. Every simple thing was a big; tremendous problem to her, even go out to buy grousers or even to take a bath, lunch, brush her hair,... Well, in the end, she was petrified of doing anything. She grew up to become a fair young woman, although she hadn't left her childish fear of everything. Surprisingly, she had found a way (don't ask me how) to live a "decent & normal" life as she was relatively successful in her professional life and home life. She was lonely though, as that "way" off disguise her wasn't strong enough to mask her terror for men... and women. Life of this scared girl continue without no unusual thing besides of her usual fears.
One day, because of her job, she had to travel to a very far away place. In another country, in another continent... (to her was the same as another planet or even universe). She was afraid, petrified, terrified for the idea (as expected). Then came the day, the D day, and the girl was white as a dead body. She was shaking, she was having almost a hearth attack and yes she was in panic. When she gain conscious of her self again she was already sited tightly and the plain was about to lift.
The journey was going "well" with her sleeping (can you belive that?!), when something went terribly wrong. The plain crashed, suddenly, without warning, leaving in the impact zone dozens, hundreds of lifeless corpses. In the middle of all that horror was She laing with her bely to the sky, immobilized , in peace.
Then with a blink of eyes, she stood up. She then had a strange and new looking on her eyes. She escaped from almost certain death! She wasn't hurt, not even with a scratch. How could this be?? Lucky?? Divine intervention?? What ever was, she was alive when she was spoused to be dead. Then she saw, that all those years of her scary life, was waisted and now if she had died... yeah if she had died she would never fulfill his wishes.
From that moment on, she faced her fears, step by step, until she was brave enough to jump from rooftop to rooftop. During that time she felted completely free, she started makeup her self, doing shopping,... From a fair and scared woman, arisen a completely new and exuberant woman full off life and feminism to share. She felted so happy, so light headed that she laugh for anything, without care for what the other people might think of her.
She was with such confidence in her self that she would do anything.
Weeks passed by, has the charming new woman was living paradise, when she went to the church to pray for the god (she thought that the most logical explanation for her survival was a divine intervention... what ever) and she noticed that there was a funeral. As she was a good citizen, she approach to feel sorry for the family, also to see the face of the corpse.
She stopped friezed, shocked, as the corpse was her own, staring at her. Smiling.

12 June, 2007

Wolf Boy


Once... not long ago... in a distant land, one new born child was left in the middle of the immaculate and dim forest. The reason for that unthinking act (if it was through the eyes of the Nature) was that this child had an horrible and ugly face, as it had a strangely animal body aspect. So it was... the poor and execrable child should had met his fate, when a pack of hungry wolfs went there to take him away to the darkness.
Weeks had passed, months... and even years... and the humanity continue his life without knowledge of what had happened. Until, one summer day, when a team of biologists decided to follow the wolfs to better understand them (same useless story if you ask me). Why, the most fortune (or not) and the most coincidence, to find that in the target pack there was one element that was strangely abnormal. They soon capture that experiment. It was some kind of a bald, four legged animal, with some fur in the head, face and across the entire body. They spend some minutes to examine the mutant "thing", that same thing that was running, jumping with an inhuman agility around the cage. They finally concluded that it was a human being (can you believe that?!)!!
The news spread globally in a few hours, thanks to the power of communication. Every person willing to see the news in the TV or radio or even in the newspaper, stood shocked by the figure of that detestable creature. But, of course, as some of our human hearths (or should I say emotions) are week, so was of one millionaire old couple. That couple adopted the frightened beast and educated him to become one of us, one human being. Although, his education wasn't easy, as he showed reluctance to learn anything. However, he had no other choice, and the beast became a man (such a shame if you ask me) and the man became a legend because of his origins. Time went by, the couple had left the wolf boy a millionaire testament.
In an interview they asked him about is childhood. He then answer that he didn't remember a thing: "I was still among the nature you know, how can I possibly remember a thing..."said smiling, though that sentence had had a strange and perturbing meaning to him.
In the next few months the wolf boy (that is what the press called him) closed him self in his house, not to show up to anyone.
As months passed by, with no word of the wolf boy, the people forgot him. Suddenly, in one cold and sunny day, the press announced a worldwide interview in request of the wolf boy. This generated some excitement in the people. The day of the interview came, all the world tunned to see what the wolf boy had to say.

"Ladies and gentlemen, man and women. As you know, I came form the wildness, I was a beast, yes. And during that time I was just that, no more, no less. I wasn't neither a human nor a wolf, Not even my... pack were wolfs. They were that, beings.
I admire your... culture, your way of living... but during my time among you I've seen, heard, spoke and felt many things, many concepts, so many... Illusions. I've begin to wonder, what is beauty? There's nothing beautiful as there's nothing ugly in this world. The Beautiful isn't real, it is you that put things to look beautiful. Why??? As I say Beauty, I'm referring to all the things that you speak or do.
During my time among you, I'd experienced pain, sadness, joy, happiness,... but there is one thing missing in me. Me. Since you'd taken me away from the Nature I left myself exist.
Now my objective is to take back my existence, that means I have to go back to the forest...
...
All my possessions belongs to the wolf protection now..."

Saying this, the wolf boy disappeared with the agility of is beastly form.
At night, the wolf boy was in the same spot that his parents had abandoned. He was waiting for the Nature to accept him. Then he heard a howl, it was his pack, they'd came for him. The pack surrounded him and, with a whisper for no one, he said: "Mother... I'm Home." With just a few seconds to breath , the pack jumped over him. As they pull out his flesh, the wolf boy looked to the dim horizon and saw six newborn wolfs waiting anxiously for their next meal.

(Although you may thing that the wolfs did this by evil, they where only doing that for instinct, for protection of their newborn and of course for feeding them)

31 May, 2007

Ernest


Once upon a time... in one sad and rainy day, madam Evergloth gave birth to a child, it was called Ernest Evergloth. But this child was an unusual child, it was as sweet as honey and as sad as a widower who lost her most beloved person. He grew up to become a handsome and thiner boy with round glasses. He graduated his self into a very sanctioned university always kipping his feelings to him, because he was a very shy and reserved boy, also. Time went by... with no change in the life of Ernest (it's obvious) since he had no real friends, no girlfriend, not a person to talk to about hearth-to-hearth talks. He didn't need them, he had him self to talk to, he had his own world.
Until... one day, when he was going to his dormitory, for some reason, he stood with his glowing glasses staring at a beautiful girl. He saw how the wonderful colorless eyes shown, as the long gold and lustrous hair danced with the playful wind. Almost momentarily the skinny Ernest felt a pain, a really deep pain. It was coming from the chest. He then started to panic since hi never felted the pain within. But still, he couldn't stop staring the beautiful creature, that blond goddess. He stood there, never to say anything, never to move and never to be noticed.
The blind Ernest stayed that way until it was dark, even after the blond goddess went away.
He was shocked, he was in heaven, he was in hell, he was blind, he was flying,... well... he was in love.
The following day, Ernest, pursue his beloved, not like he cared or he wanted but he needed.
He soon find out that she had a boyfriend... Disaster! Painful falling into the depths...
the pain he had felted the day before was noting compared with the pain he was feeling at the moment. He sustain his breath until he almost fell apart. During that time, he was more sad than his nature, he was so miserable that no one notice his presence. He was so absorbed in his sweet blond goddess that he forget his own existence. One day, by coincidence or merely the merciless fate, his goddess (miraculously) notice him, behind a tree staring at her. She soon went to talk to him. Poor shy Ernest, he wasn't able to say a word since he was so hypnotized by her beauty, although she was sweet as him and understand his feelings so they'd became friends.
Ernest jumped instantaneously from the depths but not to high because he knew she still had a boyfriend.
Time went by, Ernest and his new and only friend strength their relation ship... as friends... only. But something had stood in his way to say or to show his feelings for her. No, it wasn't the boyfriend, it was is shyness. Yes, he was to shy to even show a little feeling. That didn't changed and it wasn't going to change either.

One day, as Ernest was going back into the dormitory, he saw, in the other side of the road, his friend, his blond goddess... crying. Why? How? she was always so happy...
He then understand that the boyfriend was no longer a boyfriend. They'd broken up. That was his chance... wasted it seems, since his shyness. But then the unthinking had happened. She saw Ernest and (maybe it was to cause jealousy on is boyfriend or maybe not) she called for him with opened arms.
This was the moment, this was the climax for the skinny Ernest. It was an explosion inside, an explosion of love, happiness. He dropped his books (who needed them) and went running to her arms full of joy.
Suddenly a truck treaded him under.
So it was the life of Ernest, at least it died happy.

24 May, 2007

Pierrô


Uma vez… havia um pequeno pierrô, sabem, aqueles tristes palhacinhos, pretos e brancos, com uma lágrima pintada na cara. Aqueles que são sempre vitimas das partidas dos outros palhaços… Bom… o papel deste pierrô não diferia muito da generalidade. Não importa saber qual era o nome ou quem ele era, só interessa o facto de ele ser um pierrô.

Continuando… dia após dia, noite atrás noite, o pequeno pierrô ia para o palco fazer o que sabia como ninguém: choramingar, correr, ser um completo idiota nas monstruosas e cruéis mãos dos risonhos palhaços.

Dia após dia, ouvia o insano público a desfazer-se em risadas enquanto rastejava a suja imagem, a magoada alma, a vergonha da sua presença, com lágrimas reais a caírem-lhe no regaço dos seus inocentes olhos.

Noite após noite, os palhaços inquisidores, puxavam aos limites os seus trágicos e infames papéis.

Ninguém tinha piedade por aquele pobre pierrôzito, ninguém tinha consciência de que aquela coisa preta & branca choramingona fosse, de facto, uma pessoa sensível; ninguém o amava, todos se riam da sua miséria.

Até que, um dia (ou, melhor dizendo) uma noite, quando o tristonho pierrô se preparava para a sua “gloriosa” entrada em cena, susteve-se, observando na segurança das cortinas o público pronto para rebentar em risadas insanas consoante os sorridentes bobos lhe faziam a vida negra.

“Hmm… (pensou para com os seus botões) estou farto de ouvir este estúpido público a guinchar que nem um porcos…” e com o pensamento inacabado precipita-se para fora do circo…

“Nós chamamos então o nosso pequeno e adorável… Palhacinho Tristonho!!!” grita o palhaço mestre.

Mas ninguém aparece. “Palhacinho? Vá lá não sejas tímido. Vem e mostra ao nosso maravilhoso público o teu truque.” Não teve resposta. ”pierrô!!!!!!!!!!!!” desta vez o pequeno pierrô aparece, o mesmo inocente, triste, e miserável palhacinho com a lágrima pintada.

“És capaz de explicar onde raio é que estiveste?” então, com tímidos passos, o pierrô aproxima-se do microfone e com palavras hesitantes diz: “Tenho andado a ensaiar um truque novo.” Momentaneamente, os palhaços atacaram-no com olhares surpreendidos e reprovadores e o palhaço mestre sem saber o que ripostar gaguejou “Hmm… pois… então… meu pequenito poderás mostrar ao nosso público o teu novo truque?”. O pequeno palhacinho vira-se lentamente para o público e pela primeira vez homens, mulheres, crianças, idosos, … todos estavam a vê-lo. Não como um boneco mas sim como um palhaço.

“Nesse caso… vocês têm que formar uma linha”. Obedeceram-lhe com um sorriso sarcástico com se pensassem que aquele inútil não sabia o que fazia. Depois de se distribuírem por uma linha horizontal, o pequeno pierrô vira-se e, enfrentando o olhar intimidador do público, com uma agilidade sobre-humana tira uma arma de fogo das suas calças.

Com uma precisão de génio, dá uma volta de 180º, enfia uma bala de metal no crânio de cada um dos palhaços. Sem pestanejar nem mesmo tempo para pensar.

O tempo era infinito enquanto os palhaços caíam inanimados, o público em desespero e histeria gritava e fugia, o pierrô ria…

Hoje, esse mesmo pierrô está numa cela solitária a sorrir, rir, chorar de alegria, de prazer… quase um prazer insano.